She's JV to your varsity
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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