I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
