He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
