I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
