Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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