did i walk over a car last night?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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