He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
