he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
