question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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