my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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