i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
