I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
