I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
