the condom got lost in my hair
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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