he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
