you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize