she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
