At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
