mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
