Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
