Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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