The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
