Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
