WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize