You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
