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We won't sleep together?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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