at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize