Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
