No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
