then he tried to convert me to islam
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize