are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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