i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
