Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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