I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize