yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
