god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
