did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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