i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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