Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
