dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
