And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
