Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He better not be in your backpack
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I have post one night stand depression
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
