Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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