I wish I only lived at night.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
