I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize