Kiss
Puke
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
