good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
