i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
