Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
