vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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