We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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