You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My vagina is very pro this idea
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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