Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
