if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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