sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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