Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
