Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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