I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
