I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
be right there i have to get my cape
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
