This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
