I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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